Grab your tissues, my friends. Today – we remember.


It was 2006 when I first logged into Bebo. The social network was still in its youth, with only a year of life under its little internet belt. I was 15, and life was simple. I could upload all my emo photos and create a tag line that LooKed LyK dIs and no one batted an eye. Skins were amaze and said so much about your personality. You could give up to 3 friends some ‘Luv’ each day with a cute little heart that then got aggregated and displayed on their profile. Of course, having a lot of luv on your profile was the goal – someone wanting to share their limited luv with you was a big deal, and not reciprocating someone’s gift of luv to you was the ultimate snub.

Unfortunately, 2008 was the year it all started to go sour for this platform. The mismanaged acquisition by AOL left Bebo on Serious Struggle Street and we all left in droves for the beacon of light that was Facebook.


Oh, Hi5. You were the network where I created an account, visited once, noticed my dad was there, never logged in again, and then had years’ worth of spammy emails to show for my efforts (because ain’t nobody got time to unsub). You didn’t offer me much, really, but you sure knew how to make an exit – your pained shrieks in the empty corridors of your corner of the internet would have been impressive if anyone cared enough to listen. It’s probably time to take a word of advice from Elsa and just let it go.


When I think of MySpace I think of my terribly-tacky-but-felt-clever-at-the-time username of ca[i]tastrophe, checking up on all my favourite bands, and the terror of having to use basic HTML (don’t judge). Of course, I had to visit my old profile today in the name of research. While remembering my actual login details was a cause more lost than Britney’s career, I managed to unearth what remains – a heap of photos with bad captions and the tattered remnants of my ‘connections’. Ahh, memories.

ICYMI, MySpace rebranded as a music-focused networking site, and while I hesitate to use the word ‘failure’, I don’t know anyone who actually uses it so…


Wait, did I even use Friendster? Did anyone use Friendster? Apparently some people did – there was a cracking 100 million+ users at its peak. These days it just has a cute little message about how it’s taking a break, so I’m gonna throw it pretty decisively in the ‘dead and gone’ basket. Anyway, I’m sure there are some people who were sad to see it go, so on their behalf: RIP Friendster, thanks for the good times.

I’d like to think these social networks have gone to a better place, but in reality, they’re probably just causing the unlucky people who got burdened with them a heap of sleepless nights while they listen to the figurative tumbleweeds blow through empty comment boxes.